


The Temperature of Body and Soul

by whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit



Series: Yearning [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, My First Fanfic, Sad with a Happy Ending, am I tagging right I dunno this is scary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 19:12:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4316460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit/pseuds/whyamidoingthisitswrongbutiloveit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*hides* I thought I'd like to give something back, because I always leech from others (especially the darlings mentioned) and all of you have made me so happy so... I really tried :D</p><p>whom did I marry on AO3? I CAN'T REMEMBER MY AO3-SPOUSES' NAME WHAT HAPPENED honey if you read this, this is for you, too. :*</p><p>obviously not proof-read and I was raised trilingual and learnt more languages so if something absolutely makes no sense, it's likely a figure of speech from the other languages I speak. heed my words and learn. MWAHAH.</p><p>-----<br/>you can find me on tumblr as <a href="http://theogenes-daughter.tumblr.com">Theogenes Daughter</a> althouth I am boring and hardly post anything.</p></blockquote>





	The Temperature of Body and Soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Angrysouffle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angrysouffle/gifts), [thatwriterlady](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/gifts), [kelly42fox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelly42fox/gifts).



**One's back is always at risk to any kind of attack unless one has pressed it against something solid. Like a wall.**

Walls are, more often than not, covered in tiles, and they are almost always cold.  
All in all, they are not very comfortable to lean against for a longer period of time. They are supposed to keep things out and away from you, perhaps with luck keep in some of the warmth that your own body generates in order to not die in a world that seems to be hellbent on making it hard to breathe when they close in. A cubicle of loneliness between cold walls.  
  
"Life is enjoyable, once you ignore the pain it incessantly provides"; very few have understood what he meant. Dates have often been shortened by a reply similar to 'I was looking for fun, not a fucking Dead Poet's Society reenactment on Hamlets' fucking rant on Ophelia's depression, dude. Are you in for fun or what?'. Almost always, their sentences began with "I" and their encounter ended with short bursts of shared warmth, pressed against a bed or a wall but more often than not left his core cold, an emotional slow death due to hypothermia, an Ice Age of Hearts of sorts.

Coldness is being easily left behind in a bed that could hold two, being left behind leaning against tiles after one is of no further use.

 

**What a depressing thought to wake up daily to.**

("And that's what life is", he had thought almost every day for too many years, "cold, hard and unforgiving unless you offer your own warmth and expect nothing in return.")

And then, one day, the wind that kept tugging any kind of warmth, changes. Shadows are suddenly being hunted away with a shy smile embedded in a galaxy of stars that chases the shadows faster and faster.

 

  
**And then the sun shines through for the first time in years.**

It shines with a shy ray of something akin to hope piercing through the cold mist that had hazed his mind with a dull feeling of _breathingeatingsleepingstudyingrepeatjustkeepgoing_ for so very long.  
It shines as eyes filled with the glimmer of green pastures in summer accompany a nervous question of "Can I please see you again? Tomorrow?" almost daily for weeks and then one morning the hope and warmth blazes through him with a kiss-whispered "Good morning" and a shared cup of coffee in bed through a lazy Thursday.  
It shines, and the Ice Age of Hearts is melting to an end with soft spoken words and afterwards with promises that are not easily broken.  
  
But even before that, suddenly the sun shines daily, as if it has always been there, just obscured, just out of view.  
  
Though his back is pressed against a tiled wall now, his front is enveloped in warmth that spreads through his entire being and his back starts warming the tiles.  
Warmth radiating from a chest that had been clothed in layers of band shirts and Henleys and checkered material; all of them worn soft with age. They have been - though quickly but without haste - removed with hands that had slowly remembered the softness of touch months ago.  
Now, a pair of lips and a breath still slightly tasting of apple pie and coffee wake him up in a shared bed that only cools in the morning when they start the day, together, waiting to be warmed again in a few hours.  
And, well, a welcomed warmth pressing between his legs that fulfills another kind of promise: a rising of the temperature of body and soul alike.  
  
Turns out there are other kinds of walls; breathing, living, caring, protecting walls of home and security.  
  
  
("And that's what life is", he had thought waking up for the last seventeen years, "Warm and enjoyable, when you step up for yourself, leave the cold walls of a maze behind and take a step towards the sun", and he turned around and sighed into a freckled shoulder he had learnt to lean on without fear.)

**Author's Note:**

> *hides* I thought I'd like to give something back, because I always leech from others (especially the darlings mentioned) and all of you have made me so happy so... I really tried :D
> 
> whom did I marry on AO3? I CAN'T REMEMBER MY AO3-SPOUSES' NAME WHAT HAPPENED honey if you read this, this is for you, too. :*
> 
> obviously not proof-read and I was raised trilingual and learnt more languages so if something absolutely makes no sense, it's likely a figure of speech from the other languages I speak. heed my words and learn. MWAHAH.
> 
> \-----  
> you can find me on tumblr as [Theogenes Daughter](http://theogenes-daughter.tumblr.com) althouth I am boring and hardly post anything.


End file.
